Superpowers almost not worth having but are still kind of useful.

I’d like to start off guns blazing and get right to the good stuff. Instead of some long winded introductory type post, I will start by mentioning that I recently thought about super powers while traveling home to Amsterdam on my 55-minute commute.

Plenty of time to think.

Anyway, lets jump right in.

  1. The ability to sense when the light goes green 3 seconds before it does so you can quickly speed off in your beat up 1992 Toyota Corolla.
  2. The ability to instantly untangle your earbuds so you can impress people around you for no reason whatsoever. Could be useful in a crisis situation where you absolutely must hear music in the next three seconds.
  3. The ability to know exactly how hot beverages are so you don’t burn your mouth.
  4. The ability to sense if the avocados in your supermarket are ready for eating instead of having to squeeze about 17 of them to find the perfect one.
  5. The ability to sense which one of your colleagues doesn’t understand your flavor of sarcasm so you are not left wondering if they think you are an asshole or not.
  6. The ability to know in which train carriage your work colleagues are sitting so you can avoid 22 minutes of awkward silences.
  7. The ability to know exactly when to turn your heater off so that it is perfect sleeping temperature when you are ready to fall asleep.
  8. The ability to not fall asleep when reading books on the train. Seriously, how the hell do people do that? (disclaimer: not a superpower)
  9. The ability to play flawless games of pool in random bars so that you can impress women and/or earn some extra money hustling people.
  10. The ability to perfectly color code your outfit each day without having to waste 13 minutes. I still don’t have a clue.
  11. The ability to remember anything you learned when you took that free HTML and CSS course you took on CourseAcademy.
  12. The ability to know if the wrapper of your bacon and egg sandwich is going to easily open or not so you can avoid spilling everything all over the floor in public, forcing you to storm off and suppress your anger and utter disappointment.
  13. The ability to time travel, but only 10 minutes in the future each time.
  14. The ability to tell an endless amount of great jokes, but all are offensive and too sarcastic for all non-UK cultures.
  15. Mastery of all dance moves, but only if there is no audience.

I’d love to know which of these you find the best and why. Leave a response in a comment.

Cya around gang.

 

 

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1 Response

  1. Monique says:

    My top choice tonight would be number 4, so I wouldn’t have to go through prepping all my ingredients for guacamole before cutting open both avocados only to see to brown mush.